Stitches of a quilt we call love

Today was a pretty normal day, besides the fact that I aced my first philosophy paper and got a 99% on my first philosophy test. I'm really catching the ideas and theories of these crazy guys. I wonder if we will ever get to a girl philosopher. We started talking about Plato and what his beliefs were. In the idea of Beauty, he said that the physical form of beauty is the lowest form of beauty, because the essence of beauty is the "idea" of it. I used to be a person that once I learned something new that I really liked thinking about and figuring the background behind, it truly believed it. Now I'm taking an approach from the outside looking it. Being the most objective as I can about a subject by trying to not put my feeling or emotion in them (something that can be very difficult to do sometimes). We all say we can be objective, but we are all so quick to defend ourself, our morals, and beliefs. Especially our ideas are very held behind in our minds because we believe we are going to be shot down by society or by people we know personally. This brings me to the idea of infinite, true love. I, for one, don't think I've experience this phenomenon. Not that I wouldn't want to, but I think I've stopped myself from loving. Every since I was a child, I've been loved unconditionally by two people that I have not been so grateful towards: my mom, and my grandma (she has always been like a second mom). If I don't feel like I give enough gratitude towards the most important people in my live, how can I be gracious for my friends or intimate lovers. I don't think I've been a matured relationship with a male. I say male because I think right now, the boys at my age are that, just boys. I don't know what a man is really, but the closest thing I can come close to a description is my dad. He protects my family; he helps me grow; he shows me how stubborn I really am through his being stubborn towards me and my other family members. I read an article in Oprah's magazine today (there was nothing else to read but this issue was all about love so i thought it would be worth it because it had true stories of all the different types of love that exist in the world), and the article talked about how you are the person you want to be in the relationship, which makes the other person the person they are in the relationship, and therefore you take it or leave it as it is. The write of the article was an author about love stories, and have been married three times already, she felt she was experience enough to know a little about what works and what doesn't, especially being amazingly happy with this last husband of hers. So you are either (as an example), your strong-willed, serious-faced father, or your sweet-smiling, warm-feeling mother. You are either the person that controls the relationship, or the one that goes along for the ride. Although in certain circumstances there are times when you might change positions, but all-in-all you pretty much stay the person your relationship chooses you for. I think I would be, in my family, my heavy-hearted, stubborn-minded, but warm-hearted mother. Although my dad shows as much affection as a lighted match towards spilled gas, which is the same for me, I think the fact that my mom loves showing affection might show me a little something that will help me later on in life. I want to be the person that gives more to the person I love (and when it comes to boyfriend/girlfriend relationships I feel like I do), but I also want to do that with my family and friends and start keeping friends and start making more acquaintances, because you never know when those new people might because full-fledged friends. All I really want is to start believing that something can happen out of the blue and start worrying about what isn't happening. One day I will know EXACTLY what I want to be, and although I don't have a clear and structured idea right now, that doesn't meant that it will never be that blue print I longingly want. I leave you with this...."Love is an energy. You can feed it to people, and they in turn feed it to others, and eventually it comes back." Hill Harper