Our city goes down in flames..

I cannot understand what is going on right now? My nerves are making me shake, uncontrollably sometimes. I want everyone to be safe but the closer the evacuation route gets, the more scared i get. I really don't understand what i'm supposed to do. Pray, cry, laugh, thank? I just keep seeing flames on the t.v. take over the cities that i love. Carbon Canyon is dust. I keep wondering if i go to sleep, will i be waken up with my mom telling me to grab my things and run. I want to be safe, as well as my family, friends, and animals. I know we have the best of the best working at it, but this has taken control of itself. I'm wondering where we are going to go when we finally are told to flee our homes. It's engulfing everything. My mom said she feels like Anne Frank during the Holocaust, waiting for the Nazis to come and take her to her doom. Gah, i am trying to keep calm but so many of my friends have been evacuated. I know if we do get evacuated i have to keep composure, but i feel as if i'm just going to break down. I think i'm going to keep writing until i feel safe in my own home again. Everyone is trying to sleep except me and my cat. My dad is passed out, my mom is sleeping next to me, my cat is with my dad, my dog is somewhere trying to sleep, and my kitty is running around, and my fingers are running across my keyboard. I don't know what to think. Be thankful because the land around our homes are being burned and therefore harder for them to catch fire again soon? Be hateful for what has happened to places that are close to my heart? I think i have a right to be everything. Firefighters have been injured: i owe my life to them. So many houses have burned down: i can still feel mine underneath my feet, for now. I really hope the winds die down, for the sake of everyone. My heart beats up and down, fast and slow, hard and soft; like the fires. If anything does happen, i want to stay in an optimistic mindset. I do not want to believe all is lost, because i am still alive and ready to keep living. If i lose my home, i lose it. I feel like these fires are ppl, ready to devour anything in their path, mimicking our fight against them. I feel like the terrorist endangering my life is mother nature. I love her, but sometimes she can be a little bit over the top. And those Santa Ana wind do not help either. I do not know how long i will be up. I do not want to go to school on Monday. I feel like this will never end. I see some light outside. I really hope it's the sun trying to come up, forcing itself through the smoke and ash. It's ironic that in space, the closer you get to the sun, the colder it gets; of course until you are right next to it. I feel like my stomach is in my throat, like an ongoing rollercoaster, making continuous loops with no intent to stop. "Ring around the rosies, pocket full of posies, ashes, ashes, we all fall down.